You and I were having cake. Me sitting on the sidewalk and you, standing. We had cake on one hand and a can of coke on the other.
“This is almost like a date, you know, you treating me out like this. It’s almost romantic!” I blurted, my mouth full of chocolate cake. Anything with chocolate is my favorite. “This is the first time you’re treating me out.”
“Yeah,” it was more like a grunt what you replied.”Let’s go!”
“But I’m not done yet!”
“Eat while walking,”
“Pull me up!” I extended my arm, smiling like a kid, and you pulled me upward until I was on my feet again. As you walked, you surprised me.
“Ba’t di nalang maging tayo?, you said (there was no exact English translation to the impact of this line to me).
I laughed, taking a sip.
“Hello! Are you joking? You are not in love with me and I’m not inlove with you. Why should we get together just because? Haha! It doesn’t makes sense! But seriously, are you in love with me?”
Please say yes, I thought.
“Who knows. Maybe.”
“See!,”swallowing a lump in my throat. “Two people should only get together if and when they are in love with each other, right?,” I said smugly. You didn’t respond.
You sighed, ” I just keep wondering if this is it, if this is all for us?” after taking a few more steps, I began to feel uneasy.
“But we have fun. I like the way things they are. You have fun. I have fun. Fun is what we have!” What I’m really trying to say was, if you’re telling me like that; then, I don’t see us going any further than we are. You like me only up to here (gesturing hand across my tummy, palm down). Because you were always unsure of things. Because you just knew what you don’t want but don’t know what you really want. You are a coward.
“Yeah,” you sighed.
Is this my cue to leave before things get tangle up? before things gets messy? before an onslaught of pain gets the better of me? To me, the way you bought our cakes and drinks, what you said, describe the state of where and how we actually are.
“Two slices of chocolate cake please,” you asked the vendor.
“Should I put them in one bag?”
“No, pack them separately and to go.”